"God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him in the midst of loss, not prosperity." --John Piper

Saturday, June 11, 2011

True Story ('cause I can't make this stuff up)

After yesterday's post, I checked the mail. We got a post-card from our church because they have missed us in worship service. Let me share the text with you...

"Just a note to let you know that you were missed in our worship service this past Sunday. You are a loved and valued member of our church family, and we look forward to seeing you next week. If your absence was due to a problem we can help you with or pray about, please let us know. Also, if you have been ill and would like communion brought to your home, please call the church (555-5555) prior to Sunday so we can notify the deacon.

God Bless,

Your Church Family"

God has a wicked sense of humor. In case you have not read here before, we struggle with the church we attend. The speaker (I hesitate to use the word preacher) tells stories and jokes, and sprinkles in a few verses now and then, often out of context. I have expressed my concerns to him very gently, only to be told that if we do not like his preaching, perhaps we should find another church. We have communicated our concerns to him and 2 elders, and have let them know that for now we are attending Sunday School and until we know what God wants us to do, we are refraining from attending worship services. I have expressed my desire to discuss the situation, but they have no interest in doing so.

So I thought I would take the time to rewrite their letter, adding a few comments along the way, that perhaps better expresses their actions.


"Just an impersonal, form letter note to let you know that you were missed in our worship service this past Sunday and this really kinda ticks us off. You are a loved and valued member of our church family, and we look forward to seeing you next week provided you don't make any waves. If you do, you can become a loved and valued member one of our neighboring churches. If your absence was due to a problem we can help you with or pray about, please let us know. If you do not have a good excuse for not being here, please be motivated by the intended guilt of this card. Also, if you have been ill and would like communion brought to your home, please call the church (555-5555) prior to Sunday so we can notify the deacon. That way we can better keep tabs on you.

God Bless Us and All Who Agree With Us,

Your Extremely Dysfunctional Church Family"

Legal Disclaimer: This card is all that God requires of us as a follow-up to those who miss worship services and releases us from all obligation. No legal or moral rights are granted or implied to the recipient of this card because those who forsake assembling together are in danger of heathenism and the fires of hell.

Have a nice day.

4 comments:

Kansas Bob said...

I wish that I did not agree with your rewrite of the note.

Ralph M. Petersen-Always Right; Sometimes Wrong! said...

My "church leadership team" used my blog to build a case against me. They threatened to make their case, to the deacons and congregation, that I was unfit to be a deacon in the church unless I purged and sanitized my blog of all content that they disagreed with and stopped using sarcasm as a literary style.

The real problem was NOT my blog. It was that I was exposing unbiblical practices and doctrinal error in contemporary churches that they sympathized with and practiced themselves. They refused to discuss those matters with me on their merit.

I scrubbed it clean; wiped out about 60% of the content and images, and took out my disclaimer at the bottom of the page (they thought that was too far over the edge).

Three days later I began to systematically restore everything and more. I never heard any more from them; I think they just assumed their job was done and they never came back to look.

By the way, shortly after that, I left that church because of dishonest and abusive leadership.

Kansas Bob said...

What a story Ralph! Glad you left there.

A Gracious Home said...

I know exactly what you mean. Our pastor comes out like a super star at a rock concert. He likes experiences rather than doctrine. What's a person to do? Just keep praying we will find a church that pleases the Lord.