"Just a note to let you know that you were missed in our worship service this past Sunday. You are a loved and valued member of our church family, and we look forward to seeing you next week. If your absence was due to a problem we can help you with or pray about, please let us know. Also, if you have been ill and would like communion brought to your home, please call the church (555-5555) prior to Sunday so we can notify the deacon.
Your Church Family"
God has a wicked sense of humor. In case you have not read here before, we struggle with the church we attend. The speaker (I hesitate to use the word preacher) tells stories and jokes, and sprinkles in a few verses now and then, often out of context. I have expressed my concerns to him very gently, only to be told that if we do not like his preaching, perhaps we should find another church. We have communicated our concerns to him and 2 elders, and have let them know that for now we are attending Sunday School and until we know what God wants us to do, we are refraining from attending worship services. I have expressed my desire to discuss the situation, but they have no interest in doing so.
So I thought I would take the time to rewrite their letter, adding a few comments along the way, that perhaps better expresses their actions.
"Just an impersonal, form letter note to let you know that you
God Bless Us and All Who Agree With Us,
Your Extremely Dysfunctional Church Family"
Legal Disclaimer: This card is all that God requires of us as a follow-up to those who miss worship services and releases us from all obligation. No legal or moral rights are granted or implied to the recipient of this card because those who forsake assembling together are in danger of heathenism and the fires of hell.
Have a nice day.