We had been in limbo for a while, searching for a place to worship. We either had issues with doctrine or theology or both. So we tried worshipping a home, but felt something was missing.
We decided to go back where we had previously worshipped, even though we felt the preaching sucks. Really, I can't think of a politically correct word for what I hear. Like recently, two of points were that 1) We should trust the promiser and not his promises; and 2) We should focus on the relationship and not the results.
But why would I trust a promiser who does not keep his promises? Why does God make promises and swear by Himself? I need to trust His promises, not as I understand them, but as He gives them. God is completely faithful. And to tell me not to trust in His promises belittles Him.
And why have a relationship and not consider the results? Unless we go in with selfish motives and then of course we will be unhappy. One of the greatest things about a true relationship with God is the result of the changed life I have as a result. That is why I seek a relationship, because I know God is good and I trust in Him.
So what have I done to resolve my dilemma? I use my i-pod during services to listen to preachers that uplift God rather than try to sell some god to me that needs to have someone give excuses for his imperfections. Really. And the preacher has seen me with them in. And no one says a word about it. Now, I must have had them a little loud a couple of weeks ago, because the little old lady in the row in front of me looked back at me a few times, but no one has said a word in the 4 weeks we have been back. Because if you ignore the elephant in the room, it isn't there, is it?
Why go back if it is that bad? Because we have made some connections there that will likely fade if we leave, and we don't feel that we should have to give them up. Strong, gospel centered connections.
Maybe someday they will talk to me. Maybe someday I will have an opportunity to say something that will change them. I am going to leave that in God's hands. I am not seeking to create controversy, but you really can't have a controversy if one party refuses to participate. I just want to worship.
Maybe I do need to turn up the volume a bit more though.