"God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him in the midst of loss, not prosperity." --John Piper

Monday, January 24, 2011

That's just how I feel.

Psalm 63:1

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; My soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Why is it I feel this way? I listened to our preacher's sermon tonight, and what I heard was a message about how to grow the church. Nice thought, but that is not our responsibility, is it? I heard thoughts about how our love must be sincere, that we should hate evil, cling to the good. All of this stuff is good stuff. But something is missing. Could it be Jesus?

And I feel like I am the only one who feels this way. But I believe it is strong and that it is from God. I want God, not church growth. I want Him, not moralistic lessons meant to draw in people from across town, so they can drive by other churches to attend ours because they feel loved, regardless of what we believe. (Yeah, he said that.)

I am so thirsty, yet I believe that God has placed me here for a reason. Maybe it is to be an agent of change. That would be nice. But I fear that is not the reason. Maybe it is just so that I will appreciate Him more. I can say that is happening. I am thirsty. All I want is a cup of water, but there is none to be found.

1 comment:

Kansas Bob said...

I resonate. The business of church can be so disheartening. The economics of salaries and mortgages seem so far from the economy of heaven.